Key Principle: Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.
Step four is the one a lot of people get stuck on, and now I understand why. It is so overwhelming to try to think of every event, person, situation, anything that elicits a negative emotional reaction1 - over your entire life. I wasn't even sure where to start.
I went with the brainstorm method at first - just wrote down everything I could think of off the top of my head. Then I divided my life into segments (pre-kindergarten, elementary school, high school, etc.) and brainstormed with that period of my life in mind. I went through my contacts and photos to spark additional memories. Then I went through a list of negative emotions and wrote down any other memories that came to mind. After I felt like I had a good list (~475 items), I copied it into a spreadsheet. Then I filled out additional columns explaining why each inventory item sparked each negative emotion and what character weaknesses led to me feeling that emotion.
Once I got halfway down the list, I started noticing patterns. It was actually kind of fascinating seeing them. I am very insecure. I compare myself to others, which results in a lot of jealousy and resentment. I want to control everything, which results in frustration when things don't go my way. I have a lot of anxiety about getting in trouble and being punished. I'm more materialistic than I thought.
After finishing my spreadsheet, I made a list of every negative character trait I had used frequently and then searched through the spreadsheet to find trends and patterns. I hate being late and have very low tolerance for other people being late. Those kinds of inventory items are caused by impatience. I'm also impatient with kids, pets, long car trips, trips that take longer than they should, slow drivers, and processes that take a long time. I summarized my findings in a moral inventory essay.
I really had no idea how much of a pride problem I have. After working on this list it was extremely easy to pray, "I am so incredibly flawed and broken. There's no way I can fix myself. Please bless me with grace to overcome these issues!"
1 The ARP guide says to list positive reactions as well, but the other 12-step programs I've looked at have only focused on negatives. Seeing how long it's taken me to analyze the negatives, I decided determining my positive character traits can be a future project.
Showing posts with label natural man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label natural man. Show all posts
Atonement Application Program - Step One: Honesty
Step One: Admit that I am powerless to overcome my weaknesses, flaws and sins.
There seems to be an attitude in the church that we just need to try harder to perfect ourselves, that we can discipline ourselves into perfection. We make lists and goals with the intent of becoming better people. We feel like when Nephi said that "it is by grace we are saved, after all we can do," he meant we have to DO EVERYTHING.... and then hopefully grace will kick in afterwards.
I am a classic example of this. I have been a goal-setting, New Year's resolution-making, checkbox-checking Latter-day Saint my whole life. I like thinking of myself as being a self-reliant, capable person. Unfortunately, that desire to be self-reliant has led to the belief that I could conquer any behavior or sin if I just had enough willpower and self-discipline.
For instance, I’ve tried to discipline myself to be more patient and less easily annoyed. I've never been that successful. I fail over and over. I get frustrated that I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. These failures have helped me see that I can't improve myself through discipline, determination and willpower. I need divine help to overcome the natural man. My own efforts can only get me so far.
Frequently we are guilty of trying to make the natural man into a saint instead of crucifying the natural man ("And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts," Galatians 5:24). We're guilty of relying on the arm of flesh to perfect ourselves instead of the Lord. We don't want to see, admit, or recognize just how powerless we are.
It's hard for me to admit I'm powerless. But it's pretty obvious that all my goals, resolutions and checkboxes have yet to turn me into a saint. Self-discipline and willpower have not worked. I've become bound with "flaxen cords" of sin that have become chains I'm unable to break on my own (2 Ne. 26:22).
It takes humility to admit we're powerless. In today's day and age where we worship the "god of self," nobody wants to admit they can't do something. The proud want to rationalize, minimize and cover up their sins. They don't see a reason to repent. Like Moses, I need to be humble and truly understand that I. am. nothing.
"It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed" (Moses 1:10).
Ammon knew the same thing.
"I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:11–12).
I need to understand:
My own capabilities and wisdom are NOTHING compared to God's.
I can't perfect myself through my own efforts. I can never save myself through "industry" (Alma 4:6), "management" (Alma 30:17), or "genius" (Alma 30:17).
I can’t force myself or exert enough self-discipline to become spiritually-minded instead of carnally-minded.
I can only yield to the Spirit and do what it tells me to do in order to truly change. Only through the Spirit can I become regenerate, and strip off the natural man to become a saint.
I MUST rely "wholly" on Christ. I can't rely on myself or any other mortal. Relying on anyone other than Him, including myself, is damnation.
I can't save myself. Only Christ can.
My works don't merit any type of compensation. Only His do.
I am not worthy of esteem. Only He is.
I am nothing. He is everything.
There seems to be an attitude in the church that we just need to try harder to perfect ourselves, that we can discipline ourselves into perfection. We make lists and goals with the intent of becoming better people. We feel like when Nephi said that "it is by grace we are saved, after all we can do," he meant we have to DO EVERYTHING.... and then hopefully grace will kick in afterwards.
I am a classic example of this. I have been a goal-setting, New Year's resolution-making, checkbox-checking Latter-day Saint my whole life. I like thinking of myself as being a self-reliant, capable person. Unfortunately, that desire to be self-reliant has led to the belief that I could conquer any behavior or sin if I just had enough willpower and self-discipline.
For instance, I’ve tried to discipline myself to be more patient and less easily annoyed. I've never been that successful. I fail over and over. I get frustrated that I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. These failures have helped me see that I can't improve myself through discipline, determination and willpower. I need divine help to overcome the natural man. My own efforts can only get me so far.
Frequently we are guilty of trying to make the natural man into a saint instead of crucifying the natural man ("And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts," Galatians 5:24). We're guilty of relying on the arm of flesh to perfect ourselves instead of the Lord. We don't want to see, admit, or recognize just how powerless we are.
It's hard for me to admit I'm powerless. But it's pretty obvious that all my goals, resolutions and checkboxes have yet to turn me into a saint. Self-discipline and willpower have not worked. I've become bound with "flaxen cords" of sin that have become chains I'm unable to break on my own (2 Ne. 26:22).
It takes humility to admit we're powerless. In today's day and age where we worship the "god of self," nobody wants to admit they can't do something. The proud want to rationalize, minimize and cover up their sins. They don't see a reason to repent. Like Moses, I need to be humble and truly understand that I. am. nothing.
"It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed" (Moses 1:10).
Ammon knew the same thing.
"I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:11–12).
I need to understand:
My own capabilities and wisdom are NOTHING compared to God's.
I can't perfect myself through my own efforts. I can never save myself through "industry" (Alma 4:6), "management" (Alma 30:17), or "genius" (Alma 30:17).
I can’t force myself or exert enough self-discipline to become spiritually-minded instead of carnally-minded.
I can only yield to the Spirit and do what it tells me to do in order to truly change. Only through the Spirit can I become regenerate, and strip off the natural man to become a saint.
I MUST rely "wholly" on Christ. I can't rely on myself or any other mortal. Relying on anyone other than Him, including myself, is damnation.
I can't save myself. Only Christ can.
My works don't merit any type of compensation. Only His do.
I am not worthy of esteem. Only He is.
I am nothing. He is everything.
Atonement Application Program - Introduction
I've mentioned before that I love attending Addiction Recovery Program meetings. I've heard them referred to as "the best-kept secret in the church" and "the best meetings in the church," and I couldn't agree more.
As I've attended these meetings, I've thought that the twelve principles of the program shouldn't be limited just to the context of addiction. They are principles for everyone. I think the reason why these meetings are so spiritual is because they are all about learning to apply the Savior's atonement in your life. They're about casting off the natural man and becoming a saint. In a sense, you could call it the Atonement Application Program. (Alas, I couldn't think of a better phrase that would give it the same initials of ARP.)
I thought it would be interesting to cover the twelve steps of the Addiction Recovery Program, but framing them in the context of casting off the natural man. Here are the twelve steps:
Step One: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
Step Two: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.
Step Three: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Step Four: Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.
Step Five: Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.
Step Six: Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.
Step Seven: Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.
Step Eight: Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.
Step Nine: Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.
Step Ten: Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong, promptly admit it.
Step Eleven: Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.
As I've attended these meetings, I've thought that the twelve principles of the program shouldn't be limited just to the context of addiction. They are principles for everyone. I think the reason why these meetings are so spiritual is because they are all about learning to apply the Savior's atonement in your life. They're about casting off the natural man and becoming a saint. In a sense, you could call it the Atonement Application Program. (Alas, I couldn't think of a better phrase that would give it the same initials of ARP.)
I thought it would be interesting to cover the twelve steps of the Addiction Recovery Program, but framing them in the context of casting off the natural man. Here are the twelve steps:
Step One: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
Step Two: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.
Step Three: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Step Four: Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.
Step Five: Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.
Step Six: Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.
Step Seven: Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.
Step Eight: Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.
Step Nine: Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.
Step Ten: Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong, promptly admit it.
Step Eleven: Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.
Resource: Phil McLemore - Meditation
Two of the many search terms I used in my research were "Christian meditation" and "Mormon meditation." LDS Perfect Day's
blog showed up in the search results several times. I followed his instructions on several occasions but got frustrated because they didn't do anything for me. I had done some
mindfulness meditation in previous years but felt like I hadn't benefited
much. I wondered if there was some sort of Christian- or
Mormon-specific way to meditate, but eventually dropped the subject.
Months later I came across a guy named Phil McLemore. He wrote a number of very good articles in Sunstone1 and has been featured on many podcasts2. Some of the things he's taught really resonated with me. He talks about how some members of the church feel spiritually stagnant, like they're not making any progress, and feel underfulfilled by their religious practice. I could totally relate to that! That was exactly how I felt! He says we feel like we need to make the natural man a saint through willpower and checklists as opposed to "crucifying" the natural man by being spiritually reborn as a saint. (I'm also quite guilty of the checklists and to do lists.) He discovered years ago that practicing transcendental meditation helped him spiritually transcend the level he had been stuck on for years. Meditation allowed him to commune with God and learn for himself what kind of Being God is, and he found himself becoming a more Christlike person without checklists and willpower.
Phil has an online meditation course that he charges for.3 I felt like his website was kind of scammy, so I dismissed the idea of taking it. Then I came across someone who had bought the course and felt like it was helpful. I was intrigued and bought it ($49). I learned a LOT. He provides some guided meditations to get you started till you're able to do unguided on your own. I like using them once or twice a day and have liked his style of meditation better than mindfulness meditation.
I'm only two months in, so I can't say I've experienced anything profound. Phil said it took him many months. But I feel pretty certain that what he teaches is right and I will eventually have a breakthrough. I wish I had started meditating with Phil right from the beginning. If I had started last spring, I would have been much further along right now!
1 Hindering the Saints, Becoming the Beloved of the Lord, Mormon Mantras, The Yoga of Christ
2 Mormon Stories, Mormon Matters, there are also some MP3s of presentations he's given at Sunstone symposiums floating around the internet
3 I'm not shilling for him or getting any kind of kickback for the link. He gives the basics on how to meditate in the Mormon Mantras article for free.
Months later I came across a guy named Phil McLemore. He wrote a number of very good articles in Sunstone1 and has been featured on many podcasts2. Some of the things he's taught really resonated with me. He talks about how some members of the church feel spiritually stagnant, like they're not making any progress, and feel underfulfilled by their religious practice. I could totally relate to that! That was exactly how I felt! He says we feel like we need to make the natural man a saint through willpower and checklists as opposed to "crucifying" the natural man by being spiritually reborn as a saint. (I'm also quite guilty of the checklists and to do lists.) He discovered years ago that practicing transcendental meditation helped him spiritually transcend the level he had been stuck on for years. Meditation allowed him to commune with God and learn for himself what kind of Being God is, and he found himself becoming a more Christlike person without checklists and willpower.
Phil has an online meditation course that he charges for.3 I felt like his website was kind of scammy, so I dismissed the idea of taking it. Then I came across someone who had bought the course and felt like it was helpful. I was intrigued and bought it ($49). I learned a LOT. He provides some guided meditations to get you started till you're able to do unguided on your own. I like using them once or twice a day and have liked his style of meditation better than mindfulness meditation.
I'm only two months in, so I can't say I've experienced anything profound. Phil said it took him many months. But I feel pretty certain that what he teaches is right and I will eventually have a breakthrough. I wish I had started meditating with Phil right from the beginning. If I had started last spring, I would have been much further along right now!
1 Hindering the Saints, Becoming the Beloved of the Lord, Mormon Mantras, The Yoga of Christ
2 Mormon Stories, Mormon Matters, there are also some MP3s of presentations he's given at Sunstone symposiums floating around the internet
3 I'm not shilling for him or getting any kind of kickback for the link. He gives the basics on how to meditate in the Mormon Mantras article for free.
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