Feeling spiritually inferior

I have had a bit of a spiritual inferiority complex since waking up last year.  I have a lot of acquaintances who are far more spiritually advanced than I am.  It is very easy for me to compare my progress to theirs - an unfair comparison because they most likely have been awake and working to progress years longer than I have been.  That hasn't been much of a deterrent for me though.

My prayers have recently started becoming dialogues sometimes instead of just monologues. Last week I got this back:

Stop comparing your progress to others. You are an individual with your own plan and path. All experiences are open to all people. Instead of being jealous, you should rejoice, for those experiences are in your future too.  They’re something to look forward to.

That was an idea I hadn't thought of before - to rejoice to hear other people's spiritual experiences because it's a taste of what could be in my future.  Hearing that ordinary rank-and-file members of the church are having amazing spiritual experiences should be a testimony of the truth that every experience is open to everyone, not just GAs or spiritual giants.  Every experience someone else has is one that I (and YOU) could have.  And certainly every spiritual experience I have is one that you could have too.

Hearing my name

Hopefully by now I've convinced you that I'm no spiritual success story.  I'm not even sure why I'm blogging.  I feel like the blind leading the blind.  But I have had one special experience since my spiritual awakening (more on that in my next post).

Last August I woke up in the middle of the night and had a hard time falling asleep again.  I had recently had a falling out with a friend and was worrying about the situation.  As I was laying in bed thinking, I suddenly heard my name very clearly in my mind. I was very surprised. My previous thoughts had had nothing to do with my name, and I was pretty sure the voice wasn't the same voice I associate with my own thoughts.  It was a male voice, and not a super deep one. "That... was not me!!!" I realized. "That.... was Jesus?!!" I quickly called out to Him in my mind, thinking of Samuel's boyhood experience. No response. I wondered if I was dreaming, but I was pretty sure I was awake - I even opened my eyes to verify it. Soon afterwards, I finally fell asleep.

In the morning, I recorded the experience in my journal, still not 100% sure what had happened. A couple of days later I mentioned the experience to a friend, who confirmed that it HAD to have been Jesus. I was so excited! It was the greatest day of my entire life, the single most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Jesus spoke to ME! He knew my name! I had gone from having strong faith in Him to feeling like I absolutely KNEW He was there and that He was aware of me and my righteous desires. I couldn't fall asleep that night because I was just so jubilant.

If an experience like this can happen to me, it can definitely happen to you.