Taking Christ’s Name Upon Yourself

The concept of taking Christ's name upon oneself is mentioned all over the Book of Mormon.  What exactly does this mean?  I thought about times we "take" someone else's name upon us.  For instance - when you adopt someone, s/he takes on your surname.  When a woman marries, usually (but not always) she takes on her husband's surname.  Taking on someone's surname can be seen as a symbol of linking or joining two people together.

Here are four ways you take Christ's name upon yourself.

Joining His Church
You take Christ's name upon yourself by becoming a member of His church - a Christian.

"...And it came to pass that whosoever were desirous to take upon them the name of Christ, or of God, they did join the churches of God." Mosiah 25:23

Becoming His Child
You take His name upon yourself when you become one of His children through spiritual rebirth (similar to the adoption example above - taking on your father's surname).

"And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons and his daughters." Mosiah 5:7

Emulating His Character
In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word "shm" is usually translated as "name," but in ancient Hebrew culture, it meant far more than just a way to identify someone.  The Ancient Hebrew Lexicon (AHL) defines "ShM" as breath: "The breath of a man is character, what makes one what he is." (link)  So another way you take Christ's name upon yourself is by emulating His "shm," or character.  This involves doing what He would do, saying what He would say, and serving as He would serve.

Saving and Delivering Others
The AHL definition of "ShM" continues: "The name of an individual is more than an identifier but descriptive of his character or breath."  So a name represented character, but the definition of the name also was supposed to describe that person's character.  The meaning of Jesus's name, Yeshua, is "deliverer or savior."  You also take His "shm" upon you when you submit your will and desires to His, uniting with Him to save and deliver others.

Atonement Application Program - Step Three: Trust in God

Key Principle: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

Step 3 was one I had been dreading. I am a pretty determined person. I have plans for my life. I have goals and dreams. I tend to take things into my own hands. I am a bit of a control freak. Giving up my will sounded terrifying. I don't have the kind of trust in God other people have.  I questioned whether I could do it.  What if I say I'll do His will and then don't do it? What if He asks me to do something I don't want to?  I feel like I hardly know Him.  Can I really trust Him?  Does He really love me and have my best interests at heart?

The thing is, I do want to do God's will, at least sometimes. I try to keep the commandments - that's His will. I try to serve others - that's His will. I would like to be a force for good in the world and make a difference - that's His will too. At a high level I want to do His will. But when you get into the little details, it can get a lot less appealing. Changing my plans to do something He asks me to do. Asking me to get out of my comfort zone. Asking me to do something inconvenient.  To do something I don't want to do.  To give up my to do list. That is where the struggle is.

As I worked up the courage to take this step, I did a lot of journaling and reading online about others' thoughts about and experiences of giving their wills to God.  Listening to a playlist I made about submitting to God provided a way for the Spirit to assure me that yes, I could do this.  And eventually, I did.

So far the problem hasn't been so much Him asking me to do things I don't want to do, but more of having no idea what He wants me to do.  I pray and listen and don't get any ideas.  It's a little frustrating.  I kind of feel like if I've made this commitment, I should get some instructions!

John Pontius recommended keeping a notebook with you and writing down all the good actions that come to your mind during the day, then recording whether you did each one and what the outcome was. I've tried that but have yet to really learn much, and I'm not sure it's that accurate.  I can't spend my whole day doing every. little. thing. that comes to mind.  My brain is perfectly capable of thinking of good things on its own, thankyouverymuch.

I've been reassuring myself that it isn't until step 11 that you actually start praying and meditating to know and follow God's will.  My hope is by the time I get there, I'll be more capable of knowing what He wants me to do.  It's frustrating that you commit to giving your will to God in step 3 but don't actually start doing it till step 11, but I guess if you don't commit to giving your will to God, you'll never make it through the rest of the steps!

Mother Theresa - Step three personified

Over the past couple of months I've found myself thinking about Mother Teresa a lot.  A few years ago I watched a movie about her called The Letters.  I was very surprised to learn that during the last half of her life, deep down inside, she felt completely cut off from the Lord, lost in a dark spiritual fog.  I can understand why I am in darkness, but how on earth can someone as amazing as Mother Teresa feel cut off from God?  She was extremely Christlike - shouldn't she have basically been bathed in the Spirit her whole life?

Well, that's kind of what the first half of her life were like.  She felt united with Jesus.  She felt His presence.  She wrote about being in love with Him and being his "little spouse." She wrote that she would give everything, including her life, for Him.  She had conversations with Him about the ministry He wanted her to start, and she even had some visions.  She loved and trusted Him so much that she vowed to do whatever He told her to do.

But during the last half of her life (44 years!), except for one 5-week period where she felt bathed in God's love, she felt completely cut off from Him.  During this time of her life she wrote many letters to her superiors where she mentioned her inner darkness.  An excerpt from a prayer she wrote:

"Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love—and now become as the most hated one—the one—You have thrown away as unwanted—unloved. I call, I cling, I want—and there is no One to answer—no One on Whom I can cling—no, No One.—Alone … Where is my Faith—even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness—My God—how painful is this unknown pain—I have no Faith—I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart—& make me suffer untold agony. So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them—because of the blasphemy—If there be God—please forgive me—When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven—there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul.—I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."

Since finishing step 2, I've also been thinking a lot about step 3 - giving your life and will to the Lord.  Mother Teresa has been an incredible example to me of one who has given herself, heart and soul, to Him.  As I read her letters, I was amazed at how devoted she was to God despite feeling spiritually forsaken.

"There is so much contradiction in my soul.—Such deep longing for God—so deep that it is painful—a suffering continual—and yet not wanted by God—repulsed—empty—no faith—no love—no zeal. … Heaven means nothing—to me it looks like an empty place—the thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God. … I am only His—so He has every right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God. …"

"I long for God—I want to love Him—to love Him much—to live only for love of Him—to love only—and yet there is but pain—longing and no love. … All these things were so natural to me before—until Our Lord came fully in my life—I loved God with all the powers of a child's heart. He was the centre of everything I did & said.—Now Father—it [is] so dark, so different and yet my everything is His—in spite of Him not wanting me, not caring as if for me. .. .My heart & soul & body belongs only to God—that He has thrown away as unwanted the child of His Love.—And to this, Father, I have made that resolution in this retreat—To be at His disposal. Let Him do with me whatever He wants, as He wants, for as long as He wants."

"If there is hell—this must be one. How terrible it is to be without God—no prayer—no faith—no love. ... I do not ask Him to change His attitude towards me or His plans for me.—I only ask Him to use me."

"All these years I have only wanted one thing—to know and do the Will of God. And now even in this hard and deep darkness—I keep on wanting only that. The rest He has taken all—and I think, He has destroyed everything in me—The only thing that keeps me on the surface—is obedience."

She wrote once that she was willing to feel forsaken for eternity if that's what He wanted.  That is some serious commitment to her vow!

Now it's time for me to give my will and life to the Lord.  It's scary.  Mother Teresa gave her will to Him during a time in her life when she felt perfectly united with Him, and kept that vow faithfully despite feeling spiritually forsaken.  Am I to give my will to Him when, despite my best efforts, I don't feel like I really know Him?

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Two final quotes from her letters that I thought were too good to leave out.

"Jesus wants me to tell you again … how much is the love He has for each one of you—beyond all what you can imagine. … Not only He loves you, even more—He longs for you. He misses you when you don't come close. He thirsts for you. He loves you always, even when you don't feel worthy. … Until you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you—you can’t begin to know who He wants to be for you. Or who He wants you to be for Him."

"Your longing for God is so deep and yet He keeps Himself away from you. He must be forcing Himself to do so—because He loves you so much—the personal love Christ has for you is infinite."

Starting over - a personal experience with Step One (and Three)

Last night I came to the realization that despite all of the changes I've made in my life during the past 16 months, despite all the good things I've done and bad things I've stopped doing, I am still not much more spiritually better off than I was when I first woke up.  I have been trying to perfect myself, to improve myself, leaning on my own understanding, relying on my own arm of flesh.  They were good changes, but they were made because it was my will to make them, not God's.  As a result they haven't been too efficacious.  I had a friend warn me about this twice in the last year, but I didn't listen.  I thought those changes were part of "all [I] can do."

It's a painful lesson to learn, especially after this long.  I'm trying not to berate myself over lost time.  The last 16 months haven't been a complete waste of time -- they taught me this lesson.  I found my passion.  I heard Jesus call my name.

So as of today I renounce all changes I made due to my own will, with a few exceptions.  I'll continue to blog (because starting a blog was definitely His will, not mine).  I'll continue to study the scriptures and pray.  I'll continue to serve.  I'll do the things He explicitly has asked me to do.  And I'll make the changes He asks me to make by seeking to know and do His will instead of my own.  (Something I'll talk more about when I cover Steps Three and Eleven...)