I alluded to this in my last post. I am finally starting to get feedback during prayer. It's not consistent, unfortunately; I've now gone two weeks with nothing. But just having some dialogs with God has been incredibly motivating to me.
Earlier this year I experimented with praying and then clearing my mind and waiting afterward, with the intent of writing down any thoughts that came to mind. I was never successful. A clear mind meant no thoughts, period. I eventually gave up since it didn't seem to "work" for me the way it did for others.
In the past I have (inconsistently) kept a prayer journal, where I type up my prayers instead of just saying them vocally. Sometimes it's easier for me to pour out my thoughts in writing instead of through speech. I haven't done that for many years, but at the end of April I saw someone online saying she writes "love letters" to God, and after she finishes her letter, she writes, "Dear <her name here>," and waits and writes down the response. This appealed to me since the concept was similar to my prayer journal.
So May 1st I tried it out for the first time, writing my letter and then clearing my mind and waiting for a response. And I was surprised to find thoughts coming to mind! I wasn't sure if I was really getting answers or if I was making things up, but I persisted. Twice a day during my prayer time I wrote and then listened. And after almost every prayer, I got at least one or two sentences back. I even had a whole Q&A session with God during my Sunday prayer. I still wasn't 100% sold on these thoughts being real revelation, but the answers I got said to keep practicing and to notice my heart, which definitely felt differently than usual, so I kept at it, figuring if it was real revelation, it would probably get easier with practice.
Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, the heavens are silent once again, but I continue to try three times a day, figuring at some point the silence will break again, and I will once again be blessed with a real dialog during prayer!
